You meet someone new you like and you think they like you too, but they only want one thing, that one night alone, with you. And that one thing feels good, I know it does, it’s true, but that one thing isn’t all you have to give and you end up looking like a fool.
It’s cruel, this game we’re in but we really have no say, there’s only one rule that no-one ever tells you before you’re tossed in to play. And that one rule will show you how wicked people can get these days, that one rule will make you lose, force you to try again for redemption, force you to stay.
So you stick around and get better, you think you’re making progress, you got hurt once and you learned from it but you see, now you’re getting heartless. The same thing that was done to you, you start to do to others, and you start to see what’s happening but you keep going regardless.
Fuck it, right? Who cares, if you don’t hurt them they’ll hurt you, you got so lost playing your part that you might have ripped apart someone that could have saved you. Save you from the game? No that isn’t possible, they could have been the one to save you from yourself, somewhere along the road you became the problem.
Because that one thing on that one night and that one person that hurt you, could have been the signs you needed to look at, that would have taken you to the road you should have turned to. The detour or the complete turnaround, which way should you have gone? You can regret but it’s too late now, you thought you were right but are you actually wrong? Think about that for a second and let’s look at another perspective, you used to look for a connection now you’re okay to keep the play repetitive. Another night and another one, just to keep you busy, keeping your walls up while they let you in, but you’ll get sick of it eventually.
Eventually you’ll stop to think and feel, when the walls turn into mirrors. They’ll reflect the worst parts of you, hopefully then, to you, the picture will be a lot clearer. You’ll see it’s time for self-reflection, time to accept the truth, I know you fell into something toxic by accident, you didn’t mean to, what you need to realise now is that you let that poison become a part of you.
You let it claim you when you should have been it’s master, you let it drain you and after, venom was all you had to offer. One after another you laced it in everything you said, however sweet the words sounded to those who heard. The ones that listened, that couldn’t see ahead, you chewed them up and spit them out; you saw a little of you in them, and you knew that wasn’t what they deserved.
But that’s how it works, how it keeps going on and on, the game is endless because the players refuse to see their wrongs. Almost too far gone and we don’t want to see, how much we’ve become what we loathe, how much of the reflection is real. How much is left of the person you were when you started? How much of you really believes that you’re cold when it’s obvious you’re soft-hearted? Perched safeguarded behind the walls that you built, it happened so fast but just as quick, they’ll wilt. They’ll fall and just know this, as icy as you want to seem, you’ll want to let it go like it burns when you find that one person that’s real.
The one that makes you want to feel again, the one you want to give your all, but what does that mean exactly when the games twisted what you think of right and wrong. It’s been too long and maybe alone is where you belong, but what if that one person doesn’t agree? What if you’re the one that’s wrong? So maybe once just listen, follow your ignored instincts, you can try to teach an old dog new tricks but can you really change a person characteristics?
The answer is right there, you were always you. You pretended to be someone else, but you’re the only one you fooled. You see everyone that came by you knew, that’s why they were so easily hurt, they saw the good, it was still part of you, you just didn’t see it’s worth. All you saw was dirt but that’s what you needed to grow, out of that cold, dark place, towards the sun, right into that warm glow.
Yugen 