It’s been six years and it hasn’t changed a thing.
2191 days since it happened and I still feel the same, maybe worse; when does the healing begin?
It’s been 2190 days since I found out and had the world knocked out from under me. 52,564 hours have passed and, you know when you just want an end?
Well, let’s start there and let me ask, is this really working for you?
Now what was the first thing that popped into your mind? Blurt out your thoughts or write them down, try not to hold everything in. Even if you’re the only person listening to you right now, you don’t really need an outside ear to start to mend. But maybe you don’t need that, maybe you’re perfectly okay. If you’re in that place right now I hope you stay there somehow, I hope you’re there for the rest of your days.
But hey, it’s okay if you’re not okay.
So do you want to talk about it or would you rather a distraction? Do you want advice or do you just want to vent? We start up conversations in our heads when we do, but maybe you could ask someone to just listen. Maybe all you need is a friend. A real friend, and that’s usually someone you’ll be the same to, don’t take them down a one-way street of your suffering, if they’re there for you, be there for them.
Ask someone for an ear and they might just tell you that you need to get over it, but don’t listen. This is difficult and you might be struggling but you’ve done difficult things before and I believe in you, don’t pay them any undue attention. And this isn’t wisdom but empathy, even if I don’t know exactly how you feel. We all struggle and we all have our difficulties, keep going and try not to believe it when someone says what you feel isn’t real.
All vibes are welcome here, not just the good. We deal with them all, one way or another we should. We could just welcome the positive and expect the bad to never come, but they’ll show up anyway and we’ll get stuck, we can’t really run. Because you can’t run from what’s inside, to do that would mean you lose you. You lose yourself and then what? Do you think that that’s how someone gets through?
And it’s probably really hard to see any good in this situation, but we can still make sense of it. Now we’re on to collective preservation, not everyone for themselves, not trampling each other rushing for the exits. And that’s it, no secrets, just everything out in the open. Just not for the world to see, just yours and the ones whose souls have spoken.
Because the soul will show you the truth, you’ll see what’s real. And it’s not just the things that will reveal themselves, the people come clean.
So if it doesn’t make you smile, don’t bother; because there’s always some good in the bad. Life gets tough and you’ll falter, but you’ll get to everything you ever wished you had.
52,565 hours have passed and I still don’t know where this is heading. I know it starts and I’m a little clueless about the present, but just like you will, I’ll keep going.
Yugen 